Life’s Complications

Life is just full of complications. I’ve certainly had my own bunch of complications.Until the last few years, they were relegated to things like moving, finding new friends, a bout of depression, and ADD. Then a few years ago I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Thanks to some amazing people in my life, I found my equilibrium again. Two years later, I was diagnosed with stage iv colon cancer and discovered a whole new realm of complications and trials. The two year anniversary of my first hospital stay is tomorrow. It was during that week long stay that I was diagnosed. Including that first admission, I’ve had ten hospital admissions in the last two years. I spent 12 days in rehab after my first surgery because my surgeon stretched the femoral nerve going to my right leg. I’ve had a chest tube and two liver drains. I’ve had two major surgeries and a third to come in a few years. That first surgery unexpectedly left me with a colostomy. My second surgery purposefully left me with an ileostomy. I have a risky surgery yet to come to remove a piece of ovary accidentally left behind after my second surgery. And now I have a new complication.

I have what’s called a stomal fistula. In general terms, a fistula is an abnormal connection between two body parts or between an organ and the skin. As a general rule, fistulas aren’t a good thing and aren’t fun to deal with. Some are more serious than others. Mine is from my small intestine out to the skin where my stoma meets the skin. So instead of one hole with stool coming out, I have two. It makes changing my bag a little more challenging. It makes keeping my skin there healthy a challenge. I saw an ostomy nurse last week and she confirmed for me that it is a fistula and she gave me some tips on dealing with bag changes. She also recommended seeing a colorectal surgeon about it. It remains to be seen how serious it is. I’ll be making some phone calls tomorrow to see if I can see a colorectal surgeon anytime soon. I have to see a colorectal surgeon because they are the ones who manage ostomies. So hopefully I will soon find out just how big a complication I have on my hands.

It helps me to know this life was never meant to be easy. It was meant to be a time of testing and of trial. The Plan of Salvation helps us understand the role of trials in our lives. We agreed to come to earth, be given a physical body, and be tested to see if we would still follow our Heavenly Father with our memories of before forgotten. If we followed Heavenly Father and do as He asked, we would be able to live with Him again and even become like Him. We would be able to live with our family in Heaven forever. Being on earth means we all agreed to that plan. We agreed to be tested, believing that whatever happened to us on earth would be worth the reward of living with our Heavenly Father and our Savior Jesus Christ again.

The fall of Adam and Eve means we’re living in a fallen state and subject to the problems inherent in mortality. Without the fall of Adam and Even though, we couldn’t have children and create families. The fall of Adam and Eve means we can feel true joy, but it also means we can feel sorrow. Without sorrow, we would never know true joy. The combination of the Fall and mortality means we are subject to sorrow and sickness and infirmities. Another part of the Plan of Salvation included giving each of us the ability to make our own choices. Sometimes our choices hurt others, but God will not interfere in the choices of anyone.

And so life is full of complications. But each of us has our own trials and struggles to deal with. Some of those struggles are a direct result of our own decision making. Some are a result of another’s choices. And some are just a part of living in a fallen world. They aren’t anyone’s fault; they just happen. The Plan of Salvation is the answer to why bad things happen to good people. It is the answer as to why I was diagnosed with stage IV colon cancer at age 32.

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